Alright ya pelicans, HBO is about to drop billions across a ten-year stretch just to remake the exact same bloody Harry Potter story we’ve already watched eight times. The new Harry Potter HBO series didn’t need another shot-for-shot reboot of the Philosopher’s Stone; it needed the alternate timeline J.K. Rowling already set up in Order of the Phoenix.
marcgallagher32
What happens if Voldemort goes to the Longbottom house on Halloween 1981 instead of Godric’s Hollow?
The Boy Who Lived: Neville Longbottom survives the killing curse, rocks an eyepatch over cursed glass, and gets raised by a bitter, crippled Gran.
The Potter Tragedy: James and Lily Potter get ambushed by Bellatrix Lestrange and tortured into St. Mungo’s, leaving young Harry Potter raised by Sirius Black with a chip on his shoulder.
Full-Power Voldemort: No spirit hiding on the back of Quirrell’s head—the Dark Lord returns at full strength and immediately butchers Nicolas Flamel.
Detention Alliance: Neville, Hermione, Ron, and a grudge-holding Harry forced together when Snape’s Dark Mark starts burning.
This is the gritty, high-stakes Wizarding World series Warner Bros. was too cowardly to pitch.
If you enjoyed this drunken rant and want Part Two, drop a comment below. If you thought it was absolute shit, tell me that too. Drop a like, subscribe to the channel, and consider joining as a channel member if you want to keep the lights on around here.
